A Guide to Allyship: The Authenticity Paradox and How to Help Women in the Workplace Move Past It

I’m often asked how to be an ally to women in the workplace and help them achieve their career goals. In thinking about developing a guide to allyship, I wanted to be specific about the reasons women need allies in the first place.

Well into his career, my husband came back from a trip overseas where he’d been traveling with several female executives, and he admitted to me how uncomfortable he found it to be “the only man in the room.” He reported that the business portion of the meetings, where the gender balance was more equal, were completely comfortable but the discussions before and after the meetings made him feel invisible. With empathy he said, “I think I get it now, how uncomfortable a lot of your professional experience has been.”

I was so appreciative. I felt more deeply seen in a new way, even by someone who has seen me for a long time.

Photo by Yan Krukov

The Authenticity Paradox: Being The Only One At The Table

For my husband, an international trade negotiator, this sense of professional alienation and (usually unintentional) unwelcomeness in the business context was a once-in-a-career experience. But while it’s relatively…